i tend to stress for no valid reason. i guess i like giving myself a hard time, after having a period of an amazingly good time. its a cycle man. i literally cried for months, only to realize that its all good. from now on, anup is gonna look at things as if he were 10 years ahead in timeline from now, and think about it this way - whatever he is stressing out on today will be nothing more than something to laugh at then.
tata bye bye
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
dark days
i have lost optimism since the past year or 2. from what i can remember this started since the fall of 2009. at the moment, it is spring of 2011 and i am more pessimistic than i have ever been. so i guess i have been rolling down a slope from optimism to pessimism. the positive energy inside of me has just been fading away slowly. consequently all i feel inside of me is negative energy and it is sad because what i have is all i can give out. and i feel like i am giving off negative energy everywhere i go. i have been aware of this trend yet i can't seem to stop myself from rolling down. i guess the momentum is quite large and it demands a lot of effort to even stop it. i am trying but haven't been successful yet. my current situation would best be described by this Nepali saying that i ve heard my father say every once in a while: "kukur ko kaam pani chhaina, fursad pani chhaina". i have been really inefficient in school this semester. no matter how much time i allocate for studying, i can't seem to focus. so, i don't get things done in optimum time, and actually don't get most of the things done in time at all. but i guess a change takes time. so i am still trying my best. we ll see when this trend takes a positive turn and the graph starts rising up again.
i realize this is a very depressing, sad, mood-destroying blog but i promise to rejuvenate myself. my next blog will be more positive.
alvida till then.
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